October 29th, a month to my birthday and two days to a whole new month. Its been a really long month,another January of sorts but oh well, all things come to an end. How are y’all doing?
Learning how to love people how(the way) they want to be loved is something I suffered with for a long time. I thought the way I loved was the right way. Until I stopped looked around and started listening and paying attention. A friend over the weekend told me whatever kind of relationship you have, learn to listen it might be painful but listen, learn to observe and stay away from assumptions they don’t yield anything. Always ask.
Another friend of mine who doesn’t drink. Her boo on the other hand is friends with the bottle, she has never had an issue with that or with anyone that loves the bottle. She got the shock of her life when her lover gifted her with a bottle of wine. Honestly I too was puzzled. How that gift came up only he knows.
I once gifted a friend a pair of shoes for their birthday. Today I’m grateful for their honesty. They told me they didn’t like such shoes, never have. I thought they were pretty so I bought them. Turns out they don’t even like that color. It was painful to hear but it was a discussion that needed to happen.
I’m grateful for open communication it saves relationships as a whole.
Another friend loves red lipstick, her birthday was coming up and I saw this lovely shade of maroon. She didn’t like the lipstick but she’s tried it a couple of times and reminded me that red is her color.
They say experience is the best teacher, a friend once gifted me with a pair of beautiful heels. Unfortunately I had sprained my leg a couple of months back and was still under going physiotherapy. They knew this so I was baffled as to when the heels would come in handy. Maybe they foresaw an event in the future where I would use them as for now, a year later off heels. Shockingly they asked me to choose between heels and pumps but they wanted heels for me. Its not selfish of them, I love looking at the shoes but hey listening and observation could have come in handy.
I am grateful to friends that have decided to love me the way I desire. A friend bought me a copy of Deliberately selfish that I had been dying to own.♥ Learning how to do the same for others.
But please if the love your friends and lovers require is harmful or abusive, WALK AWAY. You shouldn’t be beaten as a sign of love. You shouldn’t be forced to do anything you know is wrong or unhealthy.
Also love includes letting people go. Don’t be “tying” on people yet you very well know they don’t want you there. You are learning how to love yourself how you desire by letting go.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.