DELIBERATELY SELFISH

6 days to Christmas, yeah!! I sound like a little child that cannot wait or those days. I know Christmas is not a big deal to some adults like it used to, just spending more money and so forth. But who is not ready for some family time and good food? Am excited for it, don’t why.

Moving on,  I know I have been rare on these streets, been absorbing and settling into the new age, trying to see what it has to offer, maybe still celebrating it. Been working on my blog Instagram  page as well. You can follow me HERE 

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So many stories in the pipeline though, cannot wait to write all about it. Am excited for all the features coming up, plus guess what??? I got a male co-writer on there, just to have a good male argument too. Also one of my features landed on an interview on one of the biggest Television shows across Africa (whop whop) will provide the link once it happens, won’t tell you though(wink)

Am so grateful for all the gifts I received in the new age. One of my girls  surprised me with a book that I have been dying to read. Been passing via Aristoc every other day checking the price and my wallet. Well that’s in the past now, I have the book, DELIBERATELY SELFISH by BAHATI HILDA.

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One of the reasons why I wanted this book, so much is that it was written by a Ugandan female writer, does it get better than that? BUBU. (Buy Uganda Build Uganda)

Been taking my time as I read this book, why? Its one of those you read in doses, you know!

Take your time, analyse, reflect on it.

Anyone who knows me personally knows I aspire to be a giver of good vibes only, yes, I have my bad days and when that happens I step away think, breath in and let it be.

I am also one of those people that will tell you constantly, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST.

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Not because I want you or I to be selfish but because I learnt, still learning too that you can only pour what you are full of. Add that to the energy around you. If you have insecurities you will spread them around, if you are angry that’s the attitude you will carry along, if you are happy you will leave pieces of it everywhere you go. If you have an infectious smile, trust me the people you are around will feel that too.

Taking care of yourself has its downsides too, people will label you selfish, mean, proud, arrogant and so forth. But the truth is if you don’t take care of your self you will end up drained, angry, bitter and so forth. This is exactly what deliberately selfish talks about. If you don’t start living your life, for you, you will live it for others and wake up full of regrets.

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Take a step back, evaluate will it work for you? Are you stretching so hard? Do you expect anything in return? Are the people around you putting in the same effort in the relationships like you are? Can you afford it?

Over the couple of years, I started taking myself out of situations that didn’t serve me right. No hate towards the people along the way. And not that I think I was better, but it just didn’t work for me. So, I left that road. I miss some of them and the memories, but it is what it is.  I needed to start saying NO. ‘’No friend I cannot lend you a couple of shillings as I currently I have planned for it, so maybe next time. ‘’Unfortunately, I cannot come to your party, today is the only day I must rest and prepare for Monday which is tomorrow.’’

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I will share some of the amazing notes from this book.

  • The equation will never balance if you only think of others as a major and you as a minor or insignificant.
  • Looking inward, figuring out our feelings and then being honest about them is a difficult lesson.
  • Even today many people yield to Peer pressure and continue relationships that they cannot bear because to get them would seem very merciless to very tyrants that keep them obliged. The cause is the constant fear of being perceived as selfish.
  • Rather we must properly define what it means to be selfish; selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, selfishness is asking others to live as one wishes.
  • The greatest cause of failure is the attempt to become something that you aren’t.
  • A person that truly loves you will never ask you to compromise yourself.
  • Choose what is right for you and it will be right for those around you.
  • By taking care of yourself you help those around you to get on with their lives. If you put yourself in order and live life like you should, everyone in your life including yourself will be much happier.
  • Take care of yourself and rest will fall into its correct place.
  • You just have to boldly create your OWN set of rules if you are to stay on top of the game.
  • Be a little greedy with your own needs and you will make the world around you better in the process.
  • Concentrate on beating your own record every day. Success is a battle between you and yourself only. Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with yourself.
  • Live life on your own terms.
  • Love yourself
  • Forgive yourself
  • Be true to yourself
  • Trust yourself and believe in yourself.
  • The most beautiful people are those that learn to love themselves the way they are.
  • Be a bit of a challenge, not because you are playing games but because you realize you are worth the extra effort.

T-shirt with African Print from  ARTICOMS

xoxo

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